It's funny how we attach romantic allure to things that aren't really all that appealing. Take pirates, for example. Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, because sometimes people are silly like that. And, yes, pirates as they exist in pop culture, as well as in the popular imagination, have a distinctive and amusing way of talking. And sometimes we probably all want to say more things using fun S-words like "scurvy," and "scalawag," and "scurrilous."
There's a big part of it, however, that has to do with all of us thinking, essentially, that pirates doing piratey things is a fun, desirable, and (pleasurably) adventurous approach to making your way in the world. Really? Fighting, stealing, fleeing, constantly being on guard against your fellow pirates, eating bad food, swilling stale water, that all sounds like fun? We haven't even gotten to the parts about wearing the same clothes every day and, you know, stinking.
Seriously, people. Discussing the on-again off-again problem of piracy in ancient Rome, historian and podcaster Mike Duncan memorably opines that, "Left without ships, pirates are just dudes who haven't taken a bath in a while." Most of us live in such a constant state of elevated hygiene that we probably take almost entirely for the granted the true pleasure and satisfaction of washing our bodies on a regular basis and wearing clean clothes.
Pirates and piracy have never really been either glamorous or comfortable. It's a seriously weird lifestyle to idealize. Even modern digital pirates probably live in fear of being caught and are constantly at each other's throats. If you insist on pirates being part of your life, and it's not either Halloween or today (Aug. 19), then the best (and safest) thing you can do is become a cybersecurity professional and fight piracy where it lives in 2018: online.
Want to sail the Seven Seas and scan the horizon for a glimpse of a ship with black sails and a Jolly Roger? Get a cybersecurity certification and join the ranks of today's cybersecurity elite. TestOut Continuing Education can help you prepare to do battle. You can even go to the thrift store and pick out a bandana to tie over your head. Now, avast, ye stinking son of a biscuit eater! Walk the plank and feed the fishes, or blimey if I don't yo-ho-ho!
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